It’s a term that describes a situation that many of us fall into when we just feel (for want of a better word) meh.
Whilst not trying to discount anyone’s experience of “the funk”, I do think creatives feel this on a completely different level. A level which seems intense, almost saturating.
For all my life, I’ve considered myself out of the box, a bit of a creative and a little bit of a free spirit, one friend called me “quirky” once and I guess that stuck with me but from my “quirkiness” comes my uniqueness, my USP, Natalie I guess. My “quirkiness” has allowed me to pursue roads and avenues such as poetry, radio, music, beauty and more. I work in an office 9-5 but I really come alive when I get to explore my creativity.
I used to LOVE writing poems and stories, mostly about what love would feel like, at an age where I was around 13 or so. I remember showing my dad I poem I had written and I will never forget his face, he is not one for high praise but I saw something like surprise in his face, that I, at such a young age could write something so strong and vivid about feelings I hadn’t even possessed yet. I knew I had a special something but being a creative, your mind wonders and so, I left poems and went onto music…turns out I suck at learning music, I never had the persistence for it.
After realising how bad I was at music I decided that radio presenting would be my next best option as it combined the two things I loved best – talking and music. So I dropped out of uni for the 3rd time and dedicated 3 years of my life studying and practicing what I could for radio. I was certain I was going to be the next Nev, Margarita or Clara out there on the airwaves. I mean, I LOVED university radio. I had my own 2 hours slot (albeit at midnight, because apparently, no one likes Urban music) and I did my very best, even won my first award (issued by my uni) and received amazing feedback from a national radio station competition. THIS, this was my calling, but with all things university, it was just a bubble and that bubble burst when I finished university and went out into the real world trying to make a name for myself as this new female radio personality. Turn’s out, I couldn’t play what I wanted and I couldn’t set up the show and content that I wanted and everything, EVERYTHING was decided for me. I felt sick. I thought that was my calling and I thought I was good at it. It was in April 2013 that I realised radio was not for me. I left the community radio station who were amazing enough to give me a slot right out of uni and I’ve never thought about it again.
Then came blogging.
Blogging is where my heart has been and I love it, it feels right even if the community is unbelievably saturated nowadays. I always try to remain true to me and what I love instead of following suit, but over the past few years, I can’t even put it into words but this funk has been here and for the first time in my life, I don’t know what I need to do as a creative to release it and it’s killing me on the inside.
I know I have a lot to offer, not just lipstick and selfies, there is more to me but I can’t seem to find it, years of low self-esteem have led me to a place I’m finding it hard to get out of.
My head is cloudy.
My head is cloudy.
Hi, sorry to hear you’re going through this at the moment. Perhaps, this is a signal for you to to take a totally different direction with your bog. Maybe you could combine the current topics with something new. There is the possibility that you need a new challenge to take on, some new project, s9neghing new to learn.